The Subtlety of a Brick

I’d almost forgotten about Samantha Brick and it’s been a while since I wrote about her. An article she wrote today has caught my eye.

All images are linked from the original The Daily Mail article and are not hosted on or reproduced by Ninja Hedgehog.

If you want to read her latest article, you can find it here. I’m not going to write loads and loads about it because there’s not a lot of point.

In her article, entitled Joan Collins is right. Any woman who wants to stay beautiful (like me!) needs to diet every day of her life, she tells us how skinny women are more attractive and how at one point, she was having a packet of Polos for breakfast and lunch. Blah blah blah.

The “like me” bit is an immediate red rag to the bull which is women all across the land.

Already, Twitter has been buzzing about the audacity of Samantha Brick and at the time of writing this, there have been 1,400 comments on the The Daily Mail article itself.

Frustratingly, I think people are missing the point. Samantha Brick is now a household name. Everyone knows her because of her apparent controversy, so she’s getting plenty of coverage. The Daily Mail are laughing because she’s a massive advertising campaign for them- angry people go to her column, read her articles and then view other parts of The Daily Mail website. It’s all about coverage.

I’m willing to bet that a lot of the stuff she writes is engineered in such a way as to get on the nerves of any normal woman. In fact, you should just consider Samantha Brick’s column as a soap opera, intended purely to generate viewing figures.

But, wait: apparently, her husband of 5 years frequently tells her that if she puts on weight, he’ll divorce her. Surely that can be quite damaging to someone’s self-esteem and their ability to form any impartial, sensible comment on real-world, real-woman stuff.

We have to ask, is Samantha Brick an intelligent genius, who is secretly manipulating the British public for her own personal, financial gain, or is she a weak, pathetic excuse of a woman who is so blinded by love for her vile husband, that she can’t see he’s a small-minded, arrogant, pathetic little man?

It’s a shame that Samantha Brick doesn’t have any friends, because if she did, I’m certain they’d talk her into divorcing her moronic husband and encourage her to stop writing such drivel.

It will never happen, but how brilliant would it be if the next time Samantha Brick wrote an article, everyone restrained themselves from reading it and leaving comments? Once The Daily Mail realised that she had exceeded her shelf-life, they’d ditch her in a heartbeat and she’d no longer get the coverage she’s had so far.

In my opinion, some of the things that Samantha Brick writes can be seriously damaging to vulnerable or susceptible individuals. For example, how will this latest article help with people suffering from bulimia? It’s not; it’s going to make things a million times worse.

Let’s face it, Samantha Brick isn’t unattractive. She’s certainly not as beautiful as she makes out (personally, I think she’s quite plain looking), but she’s pretty enough that some people will want to look like her. If they read about her Polo diet, they may think it’s a great way to lose weight when it clearly isn’t. She’s never mentioned the affect on her skin, toilet habits or menstrual cycles but most people know that not eating properly can have serious, adverse affects on your health.

Samantha Brick writes:

I actually enjoyed – and still do – the hunger pangs. I see them as a reminder that I am not pigging out on pizzas and fast food.

Hunger pangs tell you that you need to eat something as your body needs some energy. They’re not to remind you that eating will make you fat.

Samantha Brick also seems to know what all men want, as suggested when she also writes:

One of my biggest incentives is that I know men prefer slim women.

How does she know this?

I’m very sorry, but that is a myth spread by skinny women. Men prefer curvy women- not skinny women. Curvy women have legs, bum, hips and boobs… let’s be honest, how many men do you know who don’t like a pair of boobs?

Samantha Brick is boring and her controversy no longer provides any entertainment value. In fact, the more this fame goes to her head, the more she’ll lead people astray; those who think they’re not pretty or attractive unless they’re stick thin, and all because Samantha Brick’s husband is an arsehole.

If the shit which The Daily Mail publishes angers, annoys or frustrates you, don’t read it. Certainly don’t respond to it and definitely don’t dwell upon it. Samantha Brick is a fame-seeking, dried-out, old, attention-whore and the sooner she realises that this is what she is, as opposed to the beautiful, attractive woman she sees in the mirror, the better.

I feel sorry for Samantha Brick. She’s either so desperate for attention and money that she doesn’t care what damage she causes in her quest for notoriety or, she’s so pathetic and weak that she doesn’t realise her relationship with her husband isn’t a marriage at all.

Finally, one last ridiculous thing that she came out with:

There is nothing that signifies failure better than fat.

Two words: Winston and Churchill.

To say that fat people are a failure is surely sufficient evidence that this woman is only trying to provoke a reaction.

Whatever the excuse for this silly, awful woman, I wish she’d just disappear and be forgotten about.

Part of me wishes she’d choked on one of her Polos, but only because I’m not really a vindictive person and I know that they have holes in them.

About Ninja Hedgehog

I’m Ninja Hedgehog, the creator of the Ninja Hedgehog website. I've written various things over the years but started Ninja Hedgehog in October 2011. I write about all kind of subjects but will never write about sport. Ever.
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15 Responses to The Subtlety of a Brick

  1. Abbi says:

    yeah maybe shes just got a messed up personal life. thats what i reckon. horrible skanky woman.

  2. Terry says:

    Good article Ninja!
    I think she just does it for the shock factor. Theres nothing interesting about what she writes atall.

    • Ninja Hedgehog says:

      She probably doesn’t give a shit. She’s being paid for her article, so why should she?

      I do find her articles interesting, though. But only in the sense that I can’t understand what can make one individual love their own face so much…

  3. TT says:

    She should be ashamed of herself.

    • Ninja Hedgehog says:

      A woman of only average beauty would be ashamed of herself. You’re forgetting that Samantha Brick is the most beautiful woman in the whole universe…

  4. Sarah W says:

    Disgusting woman. I think she’s just very lonely.

  5. Wicket says:

    Good article! You should write for the DM

    • Ninja Hedgehog says:

      Unfortunately, if DM insist on employing writers such as Samantha Brick, I don’t think I’d like to write for them. I’m better than that.

  6. Michelle says:

    Good article Ninja! i hope Mrs Brick reads this, i would be interested in her reply to you …

    • Ninja Hedgehog says:

      Thank you for your comment.

      I’m sure that Mrs Brick has had numerous articles written about her; some more scathing and some more favourable. She couldn’t possibly reply or respond to the billions that are out there and she certainly wouldn’t bother with a half-arsed blog such as Ninja Hedeghog.

      It’s good to be positive though…

  7. Anandi says:

    Excellent blog, but if I may nitpick a little, saying that men prefer curvy women with boobs and hips pretty much contradicts everything else you’ve said. Society and people like Brick and her husband put pressure on women to look a certain way. There’s a recent trend to say that ‘real’ women are curvy when actually, women, like men, come in all shapes and sizes. Naturally slim women with boyish figures get to be ‘real women’ too. The magazines and people who criticise skinny women constantly, contribute every bit as much to the pressure to look a certain way, not unlike Brick. The very same people then shake their heads and tut their disapproval when those women get boob jobs and silicone injected into their bottoms to make them more curvy. Women can’t win. Just a thought.

    • Ninja Hedgehog says:

      Thank you for your comment.

      When I stated that men prefer curvy women to skinny women, I probably didn’t word it as well as I could have done. What I meant was that given the choice between a “skinny” women and a “curvy”, men would choose the curvy woman every time; curvy as in shapely, not necessarily big-boobed.

      Of course I’m not saying that skinny women aren’t or can’t be attractive. I’m saying that generally, men prefer women with a shapely figure, regardless of whether or not they have big boobs.

      I accept that perhaps I haven’t explained my point as well as I could have done; that point being that Samantha Brick is a wanker.

  8. Anandi says:

    That’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it. I’m just glad all men don’t feel that way.

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