As I start to type this, those of you with nothing better to do will be switching over to BBC2 to tune into Horizon: The Secret Life of the Cat. Apparently, there’s such a thing as a cat scientist and extraordinarily, the UK has leading cat scientists. The cat scientists intend to reveal the secret life of cats by tracking a select few for 24 hours in Shamley Green, Surrey.
Evidently, cats are a complete mystery and there are people (cat scientists) who are keen to see what they get up to when they leave our homes.
Granted, it would be interesting to see how far a cat travels during a 24 hour period but I’d expect your average, young moggy to travel 2 or 3 miles a day. Here’s what else I expect we’ll discover:
- Some cats won’t venture far from their home and will likely just mooch around in the garden
- Some cats will be constantly on the move
- Some cats will find somewhere nice to have a sleep.
- Some cats will catch birds
- Some cats will fight with other cats
- Some cats will mug an elderly person
- Most cats will stick to their own areas
Perhaps there won’t be any cat muggings, but I think I’ve covered everything else.
This experiment is probably quite expensive, time consuming and the data will no doubt take a considerable time to analyse. What will the cat scientists do with this data? How will it benefit humankind?
If I was really that interested in finding out where my cat went each day, I’d spend £10 on a cheap, miniature camera and attach it to her collar; I wouldn’t need to use GPS tracking because I’d just watch the video when she returned. Admittedly, I’d be disappointed because she never leaves the conservatory, but at least I’d feel much happier about knowing for certain.
You know, just in case she were to do anything un-cat-like.
Actually, this has given me a great idea. I have a cat, some dogs and a chicken. When I’m at work, I have no idea what my pets get up to- they could be doing anything during the day. The dogs could be sleeping or the cat could be eating, I just have no way of knowing.
Will we really learn anything secret about cats? Of course we won’t. What we will find is that our cute, fluffy, little kitty-cats are ruthless hunter-killers who murder innocent little birds.