Mother of All Trolls

Write for Ninja HedgehogMy mother has always been interested in the workings of Facebook, I’m sure she’s an in-the-closet stalker, she’d fit perfectly as she is tiny. She grew up in Ireland way back in the day when the land and animals were tended by hard working, cracked human hands and has always had a fear of technology until recently.

I have, in the past, shown her the gossip and arguments available for all to see on Facebook from family members. You know the kind and may have even been involved in some yourself, keep it up as these arguments are very entertaining to the silent observer.

Anyway, back to the tiny, Irish troll story. Mother decided to get herself a PC, burnt a bit at the time that hers was better than mine but it’s fine, over it now. I set up her broadband and my teenagers have been teaching their Grandmother how to use the whole thing. She is now on Facebook and can keep up to date with news by doing her own stalking.

I’m an only child, you’d think this would mean I am my mother’s world. The apple of her eye. No, I can no longer post anything on Facebook that is safe from her trolling. I’m not a big poster anyway, don’t have the need to let people know much about me. Family members, friends and people I went to school with who I never spoke to do not need to know what I’m having for lunch or what I’m thinking. I save these things for special occasions.

One special occasion happened the other day, went to a shop and finally found my name on a famous drink bottle. Of course I whipped out my purse and bought it. On arriving home I searched in my bag for my phone with excitement, took the bottle out into the garden and set up the perfect shot, snapping away until I was happy with the result. Quick upload to Facebook and I was a very happy shopper.

BING! A notification. Opened it up and it was a comment from my mother calling me “sad.” She hasn’t learnt about how to use capital letters yet but that’s not the point. The internet has turned my 70 year old mother into a teenage brat. This isn’t the first time and I’m sure it won’t be the last she trolls a post.

Is it wrong to unfriend your own mother on Facebook?

Submitted by Jumble on 14th June 2013

8 Replies to “Mother of All Trolls”

  1. It isn’t wrong to unfriend anyone on Facebook, but it is wrong for you to call your wallet a ‘purse’.

    1. Presumably, Jumble is female which is why a purse is used instead of a wallet.

      Just a wild guess though.

      1. Oh dear, I thought it was you writing and didn’t read the name. On the plus side, she has a similar style of writing to you, and you are semi successful.

        1. Any visitors to Ninja Hedgehog have a similar taste in writing otherwise I don’t think they’d be the least bit interested. In that sense, it stands to reason that the writing style of any contributors will be very similar to that of my own, which is exactly what I want.

          1. Just because they enjoy the style doesn’t always mean they will write in the same style. I love Andy McNab, but I don’t write like him 😉

          2. That’s a very good point. If someone submitted an article about bravo tango zulu and other such nonsense, I wouldn’t even dignify them with a reply.

            But no, Jumble is not me.

  2. I didn’t set out to write in the style of Ninja Hedgehog, may jumble up the style for next time if promises though.

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