I’d like to tell you a little about a man named Patrick Olmstead, who contacted me after seeing my advert on Gumtree for an Amazon Fire Phone which I have for sale. He was very interested in buying one as a present for his son.
Patrick wanted to pay the full asking price plus a further £60.00 for me to ship the phone to his son. He didn’t have any questions about the phone, didn’t try to haggle and wanted to pay a crazy amount for shipping. Warning number 1.
I received an email, purporting to be from PayPal, claiming that a payment of £260.00 had been sent to me by Patrick and was currently being held in “escrow” until I confirmed the phone had been dispatched. It wasn’t the worst, fake email I’ve ever seen but as is common with these emails, the grammar and punctuation was pretty poor. Warning number 2.
Out of curiosity, I visited www.dcemail.com (link deliberately not included) to see what type of website it was, although I assumed that it was simply the website of an email provider. The domain is currently for sale but this didn’t stop the website from trying to do bad things to my PC, so I made a hasty retreat. A quick WHOIS search on the domain name reveals that www.dcemail.com has been registered since 26 November 1997 to a private individual under the organisation name of Washington DC City Pages.
Patrick’s son lives in Nigeria, which is where he wanted me to send the phone to. Apparently, his son’s name is Hammed Olawale and his address is 242 Agbowo Road, Ibadan, Oyo State, 23403. Warning number 4.
Do I feel bad about publishing Hammed Olwale’s address online? Not in the slightest. In fact, I’ve included a map below which shows you exactly where Hammed Olwale’s house is.
Because I wasn’t quite suspicious enough, I Googled Patrick’s email address (firstname.lastname@example.org) which returned far more results than I could have anticipated. If I was going to try and scam a load of different people, I’d at least go to the effort of using different email addresses from time to time. Warning number 5.
From the moment Patrick first contacted me, I decided that I was going to waste some of his time. He could have been genuine but the fake PayPal email confirmed what I suspected so I decided to go along with what he was asking of me.
Patrick was incredibly pushy for a tracking number for proof that I’d shipped his phone, so I made one up and provided it to him. I also told him that I’d replied to PayPal with a copy of the shipping receipt. It was at this point which I expected him to realise I was either trying to rip him off or that I’d sussed out his scam as presumably, he owned the fake PayPal email address and would know that I didn’t really send anything to it.
The tracking number I’d given Patrick wasn’t working and he was becoming more and more agitated by this. Being the helpful chap I am, I sent him the following email:
The issue could also be that the tracking number is about as real as your PayPal payment? If that’s the case, then it doesn’t exist and you’re unlikely to receive the phone.
Although you’re obviously highly retarded, you seem like quite a pleasant person so I’ll provide you with some tips.
1) Don’t offer too much money- that in itself is suspicious. Being too willing is a bad thing.
2) Check your grammar and usage of words in your pretend PayPal email. Whilst it wasn’t the worst fake email I’ve seen, it was pretty poor.
3) Try to use a slightly more convincing email address to send your shoddy, fake emails from.
4) Google your own email address before contacting anyone from it.
5) Nigeria is the scamming capital of the world, you stupid cunt.
I hope these tips help you defraud many people in the future. Fortunately, your lack of intelligence will let you down at some point and will be your downfall. I don’t know how scary the police or prisons are where you are, but hopefully you’ll be beaten and raped substantially; either in the police station or in prison.
All the best and good luck with trying to become more intelligent.
Patrick hasn’t replied nor has he enquired any further about the phones which I have for sale. His son will be most disappointed.
Has Patrick tried to buy something from you with a fake PayPal email?