Fifty Shades of Brick

I don’t know how I missed this, but it appears that Samantha Brick has caused controversy once again. She now has her own category on Ninja Hedgehog.

The Daily Mail Columnist appeared on the This Morning Show at the beginning of July and was discussing the Fifty Shades trilogy, where she apparently described it as “badly written” and “totally degrading to women”.

We need to break this down into a few separate parts so we can get an understanding of the bigger picture.

Firstly, it’s Samantha Brick’s job to provoke controversy and stir things up a bit. Each and every time she does or says something ridiculous or offensive, Twitter goes mad and the whole world ends up talking about her. This then draws attention to her and the Daily Mail. No publicity is bad publicity- it’s perfect, really. Also consider that she lives in France, so it’s unlikely that anyone who’s been offended will ever bump into her in the street. Even if a French person recognised her, they’re all too arrogant to give a shit what she says anyway.

Secondly, Samantha Brick thinks that the Fifty Shades trilogy is “badly written”. I haven’t read it, but I’ve seen many middle-aged women reading it and have heard just as many talking about it. Forgive me if I’m wrong, but it is actually mummy-porn, isn’t it? It’s the type of book that women buy because they think that porn is disgusting. When I was a kid, I used to buy the Daily Sport from the paper shop. I can assure you that I wasn’t buying it to read up on the football.

Samantha Brick writes articles in a newspaper to piss people off. Yes, she’s a writer but she’s a very different type of writer. She thinks that these books are “badly written” but the 2.3 million people in the UK who have bought the books so far probably disagree. It’s the same as trying to tell someone that The Beatles are rubbish or that Jedward are talented. Convince yourself all you like, but you can’t argue with reason.

Finally, Samantha Brick says that the Fifty Shades trilogy is “totally degrading to women”. She’s dropped a ball here, in much the same way that you end up dropping a ball if you lie too much- it’s only a matter of time before you forget what you’ve said already.

As I wrote about previously, Samantha Brick has written various articles with apt yet ironic titles. The one that springs to mind when she mentions ANYTHING being degrading to women is “I use my sex appeal to get ahead at work… and so does ANY woman with any sense“. Here are some quotes from this article:

“If I had a choice of how to spend my ideal lunch hour, it’s a no-brainer. Each and every time I’d choose to flirt over lunch with a male superior rather than engage in mindless gossip with the girls over a Pret sandwich.”

Samantha Brick openly admits that she would deliberately flirt with a male superior. What are the benefits of that? The only thing I can think of is so that she can get somewhere without having the natural ability or skills. It begs the question: how did Samantha Brick end up writing for the Daily Mail anyway? She must be REALLY good at blowjobs, because her articles are just dull and patronising. If you break any of them down, you’ll see that there’s perhaps one or two sentences with any form of controversy, whilst the rest of the article is mindless drivel.

Here’s another quote from the same article:

“I learned very early on in my career how to clock within seconds who the important male was in any room and pandered to him accordingly. And it paid off.”

Implies the same sort of thing, doesn’t it? She identifies the important guy and flirts with him to get what she wants. Sometimes, in life, it’s NOT what you know and it IS who you know; only a naive person would disagree with that. If you’re fortunate enough to do well because of contacts you’ve made, then so be it. But (especially in this case), don’t openly admit to deliberately fluttering your eyelids to get somewhere and then later bang on about things that are “totally degrading to women”.

I believe it’s a large proportion of women who are buying the Fifty Shades trilogy. Based on that, isn’t it safe to assume that the majority of women DON’T find the books “totally degrading to women”? Would women be recommending this book if it were? I doubt it.

My advice to you, Samantha Brick, is to stick to what you’re good at, which is to deliberately and artificially cause controversy. Be very careful that you don’t trip yourself up as you have done a couple of times already. It’s one thing to cause controversy; it’s an entirely different thing to fall on your arse and look like a tit whilst doing it.

Samantha Brick regularly tells us about how well she’s doing for herself in her articles; always mentioning houses, cars and money. One thing I’ve noticed that she doesn’t mention, is friends. Makes you think, doesn’t it?

About Ninja Hedgehog

I’m Ninja Hedgehog, the creator of the Ninja Hedgehog website. I've written various things over the years but started Ninja Hedgehog in October 2011. I write about all kind of subjects but will never write about sport. Ever.
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2 Responses to Fifty Shades of Brick

  1. Andrea says:

    An excellent piece! Only discovered Ninja Hedgehog today by mistake but have now bookmarked it. Thank you.

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