My Exhaust is Bigger Than Yours

Perhaps I’m getting old or perhaps I’ve always been very boring, but something has really been getting on my tits for the last few weeks.

It’s a problem which is becoming more and more prevalent, and it drives me absolutely bonkers.

Engine revving.

Pointless and totally unnecessary engine revving.

Mullet Face has started to do it in his uninsured piece of shit and now one of his mates (of lesser or of equal IQ) within our cul-de-sac has bought a motorbike, which he needs to make everyone aware of constantly by regularly running and revving the engine.

Why Mullet Face would want to draw attention to an uninsured, un-taxed car with no MOT is even less explainable than the reason behind Moto Twat revving the engine of his (quite nice) motorbike.

There’s no technical or mechanical reason for making a shit load of noise with your car or motorbike. So what if it’s loud? Great- you’ve demonstrated this. Why do you need to keep doing it constantly? Am I missing something?

I enjoyed the weather this weekend and it was nice to have the windows open without freezing my tits off for a change this summer, but this summery experience was marred by engines being revved.

In Moto Twat’s defence, he did actually go out on his motorbike for 10 minutes within the local area, but unfortunately the area he went out in was very┬álocal and what seemed to be some respite from tiny-cock syndrome was short-lived and not to be truly appreciated, because I could still hear the sound of his poxy motorbike whilst he rode up and down the same stretch of road!

What goes through these bell-ends’ minds when they decide they want to spend a nice day making an unbearable racket by revving their engines? Is it a secret mating call? Does it immediately attract a flock of heavily made-up dolly birds whose only purpose for wearing underwear is to keep their ankles warm? Does it summon a secret sex-god, who bestows these cretins with a bigger cock and a sexual prowess of that which has never been witnessed here on earth before?

I’m quite certain that none of these things happen, but what do I know? I’m getting old and I’ve always been boring.

Why can’t this type of person either go and get a hobby (or a job), or crash and burn in a spectacular fireball so that those of us with a 3-digit IQ can have our windows open without being driven mad by noisy retardedness?

Right now, I don’t believe in god or evolution.

Do you have a loud exhaust and a snall cock?

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