If you do grocery shopping with Sainsbury’s online, you get money off your first order as a new customer (up to £20.00). This is great.
What’s even better is that Sainsbury’s don’t appear to check your delivery address to see if you really are a new customer.
Instead, it seems that they go by your email address.
Most people have at least two email addresses; usually one of these is acquired after signing up with Apple or you ISP but I’d guess that not many people would have more than 3 email addresses.
This means that you can sign up as a new Sainsbury’s customer 3 times and receive money off your online shop 3 times, potentially saving up to £60.00.
Imagine having your own domain name. With a domain name, you can set up as many email addresses as you like.
Imagine you’re me. Imagine how much money I’ve saved on my online shopping orders with Sainsbury’s.
To simplify things, I create email addresses in a very simple format; “sainburys” with a number afterwards, @ninjahedgehog.co.uk.
This system has done me well for the last few months and I’ve not had any problems. Sainsbury’s deliver on time, never have to substitute items and their produce has decent shelf lives (not like ASDA).
This week, some premium beef burgers were missing from my delivery. I do like my burgers, so I was incredibly disappointed. I pointed this out to the delivery driver, who apologised but said I’d need to call Sainsbury’s directly. Not a problem.
I rang Sainsbury’s and got through to a very helpful man. He asked for my order number, which I duly gave him. Next, he asked me to confirm my name.
How the fuck am I supposed to remember which name I’d used for my latest Sainsbury’s identity??
I stalled for time by repeating the question I’d been asked, making myself sound like an idiot. As I stalled, I frantically scanned the printed order form which had arrived with my shopping for my name, silently fist-pumping the air in triumph when I found it at the top of the page.
“Will Chair”, I proudly confimed.
Success- I passed the test! I’d found out the pretend name I’d used for my order as a new customer and I’d confirmed it back to Sainsbury’s as if it really was my own. Win.
It seems that I’d been premature in my celebration, as I was caught off-guard when I was asked to confirm my email address to complete the security check.
That’s ok though- my name was on the printed order form so it stood to reason that my email address would be on there too.
Clearly, Sainsbury’s don’t use reason so I had to search for the email confirmation on my phone, whilst mumbling something about not remembering which email address I may have used.
After some ridiculous and obvious stalling (this was now becoming embarrassing), I found the email confirmation but immediately wished I hadn’t. How was I supposed to tell the man on the phone that my email address was firstname.lastname@example.org?
Thinking rationally, the man on the phone already knew my email address and just needed me to confirm it for security. It wasn’t like I could pretend I’d used any email address other than email@example.com because this was on their records. There was no escaping the harsh reality that I’d used this email address.
“Will.firstname.lastname@example.org”, I brazenly stated. I was convinced that if I squeezed my eyes shut really hard and said it with enough conviction, it would appear as that on the man’s computer screen.
The man on the phone awkwardly informed me that this wasn’t the right email address, so I feigned shock and surprise before lying and saying I couldn’t remember which email address I’d used.
I was willing him not to suggest I check my emails for the confirmation. This raw will and the excessive sweating appears to have worked, as he gave up and just accepted that I was indeed Will Chair.
He asked me how I’d like Sainsbury’s to resolve the issue of the missing burgers. Before ringing Sainsbury’s, I’d assumed that the only option was to refund me, so I was a little surprised at the question. Ideally, I’d like the burgers which I’d ordered and paid for delivered to me and when I suggested as much, the man on the phone sounded surprised because he was obviously assuming I’d ask for a refund (why ask me the question??). Credit where it’s due, he placed me on hold to check deliveries in my area and came back to say that this could be arranged, but that they couldn’t guarantee it because of other orders and delivery routes.
I opted for the refund and just to be cheeky, I asked if I would get anything extra for the inconvenience of having no burgers. My cheekiness paid off, because the man on the phone agreed an additional… 50p.
I wasn’t going to quibble because of the amount I’ve saved as a new customer on numerous occasions, but I think the game is up. I’m pretty certain that the man on the phone was suspicious of something or had found out that there’s 13 separate people, each with a comedy name, living at my address.
To confirm my suspicions of being found out, I received my refund as an e-code by email to use on my next online shop, which I will no doubt have to pay the full price for.
It was good while it lasted.