Royal Fail

Royal Fail

You’d think that after my recent experience with Wish, I would know better than to order items from China just to save a few quid. I have found to my own detriment that doing so costs more in time and in frustration, which far outweighs the initial monetary savings made.

Like a small child, someone with learning difficulties or a chimp, I need to make the same mistake several times before I eventually learn my lesson.

To be fair, the ordering of an item from China in itself hasn’t prompted me to come out of hibernation to write this today; the actions of not one, but two Royal Mail fucktard posties has.

I won’t bore you with what I ordered on eBay from a Chinese supplier, but it was a fraction of the cost compared to purchasing the same item here in the UK. I have no qualms with waiting for a few weeks if it means saving a whole bunch of money.

In fact, the price was so good, I wanted to order two of these items but the seller wouldn’t allow more than one purchase of the item during a 10 day period, so I had to persuade a friend to use his eBay account to order another on my behalf.

Ironically and annoyingly, the items purchased are entirely unnecessary; I purchased them purely because they were a bargain. That was the one and only reason.

Alas, the value-for-money aspect of my purchase has been marred by the difficulties in Friend's Deliveryphysically receiving both of these items due to Royal Mail.

The item I ordered became stuck at Customs in China for quite a considerable time, so I had to forget about that one for a little bit. The item my friend ordered passed through Customs in China very quickly and the tracking showed that delivery was “attempted” twice on 26th April; at 12:25 and again at 14:00.

This is bizarre for the following reasons:

  1. The days when Royal Mail made two deliveries per day have long since passed and even when they did do this, ‘first post’ was delivered early in the morning, whilst you were still eating your toast (these were the days when your milk was also delivered in the morning by someone who would invariably shag your mother. These were also the days when parents would get dressed in the morning, rather than embarrass their kids by escorting them to school in their fucking dressing gown and slippers). Although I may be wrong, I doubt very much that the local postie would bother popping back to try and redeliver something again on the same day.
  2. No dreaded “while you were out card” was dropped through the letterbox. This would be typical for any failed delivery attempts.
  3. My friend has a CCTV system set up outside his house. He’s been back through the recordings for the supposed delivery times and there’s been no sign of the postman.

Unless this postman was wearing an invisible cloak, we can safely say that the lazy fucker didn’t even bother to attempt delivery of this parcel.

Allegedly, the item which I ordered was delivered today at 11:32.

This is bizarre for the following reason:

  1. It wasn’t delivered as no one was home

My DeliveryNeither of my neighbours have taken the parcel for me and I’ve subsequently had a webchat with Royal Mail, who are going to investigate my missing parcel (which will take up to 10 working days). Fortunately, they’ve confirmed that the item my friend ordered is being held at his local sorting office. The downside to this is that as no “while you were out” card was left, he can’t go to simply collect it so a re-delivery needs to be booked. Hopefully, if my friend misses the second delivery “attempt” (or third if you believe the lazy bastard postman), a “while you were out” card will be left and he can collect the item at a later date if necessary.

I’ve never had a problem with Royal Mail deliveries in the past so it’s both frustrating and curious that these two issues have been experienced with two different postmen from two different sorting offices. I’m not sure where I stand with eBay in the event that I need to raise an “item not received” dispute if the item has definitely been sent to the correct address and the tracking confirms that the item has been delivered. How do you prove that you’ve not received something when Royal Mail say that you have?

I’m royally pissed off,  but at least I wasn’t expecting a delivery from Hermes so still stand a chance of receiving the items ordered.

Have Royal Mail failed to deliver for you in the past?

About Ninja Hedgehog

I’m Ninja Hedgehog, the creator of the Ninja Hedgehog website. I've written various things over the years but started Ninja Hedgehog in October 2011. I write about all kind of subjects but will never write about sport. Ever.
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