I Hate Spam

Nobody likes spam email or junk mail, but at least junk mail is a little easier to manage. If it’s random crap about enlarging your penis or using Viagra (I visited those sites once by accident- I swear) it’s almost acceptable because those trying to sell you such products know that in all likelihood, you’d be too embarrassed to buy those items via mainstream outlets so they have nothing to lose. They’ve literally got a captive audience by the short and curlies.

What really annoys me is those who randomly email you about your website, telling you how they can single-handedly increase traffic or improve SEO optimisation. Usually, they email you at an unused or random email address which just goes to show that they’re using bots to harvest email addresses.

Professional, huh?

Do I really want to get advice from someone who sends random emails and thinks that it’s a perfectly acceptable marketing strategy?

Several years ago, I had to put up with random emails from Web Windows but that stopped after I set up my own spam forwarder to email each and every individual who worked there.

Here’s some of the recent shit that I’ve received:

Greetings,

Hope you are doing well.

This email is regarding SEO leads marketing. We are India based SEO leads provider, deals in EXCLUSIVE SEO LEADS to large Internet Marketing Companies like you in Australia, New Zealand, United Kingdom, United States, and Singapore.

We have a vast email marketing team who get good number of leads from foreign country for SEO/Link Building & Web designing, and can helps you to connect with new clients looking for SEO services.

Warm Regards,
Kaylee Williams
Marketing Head | IT Sales
http://www.seoleadsquote.com/

This email came from kaylee@raypot.online but the reply-to address was kayleewilliams225@gmail.com. Ironically, Kaylee sent this email to webwindowsspam@ninjahedgehog.co.uk, which is the spam email forwarder I set up for Web Windows.

On the website www.seoleadsquote.com, there’s a section which tells you how they generate leads for you. It states:

We also have purchased email extractor software to collect the email ids. We get email ids according to our targeted keywords. Then we send emails to them.

In this way we invite thousands of people for SEO. And normally we receive 5-7 Leads per day. And same will be forward to you for further action.

The most common ways of generating SEO Leads is email marketing, Form submissions and etc. It is the hardest indirect way to find people for SEO, but it’s the best way to get leads. It looks like spam but this the way to find genuine people for SEO.

At least they’re honest about how they “market” your website and admit to bombarding unwilling recipients with what “looks like” spam email.

The website www.seoleadsquote.com was registered by a Suraj Ghosh (email suraj6695@gmail.com) and the website www.raypot.online was registered by a Grace Wave (gracewave92@gmail.com).  I noted that the website has an out-of-date copyright notice, that the social media links don’t do anything and that laughably, the website states that all leads generated as part of their service are “quality leads”.

There’s some blog entries on www.seoleadsquote.com posted by ‘suraj’ from 6th July (presumably from last year) and a few from this month so I wonder where he/she had been during that 6 month silence? There’s also three whole client reviews praising www.seoleadsquote.com; one from March 2016 and two from March 2017. Yay.

Mike Ncube also emailed me (email sent from mikencube@fresherdoing.online and with a reply-to email of mikencube693@gmail.com) at my Web Windows spam forwarder email address with this:

Hi SEO Experts, Hope you are doing well.

Do you want more leads, more customers and more revenue?

We are SEO Leads Provider who specialize in helping to grow your business and will help you to increase your clients list. We have good no. of staff members for email marketing and we are able to generate high quality SEO Leads 8-10 every day from your Country. We always maintain a quality in our SEO Leads services. We are able to generate high quality SEO Leads through bulk emailing and etc.

Our team has been in the website designing and SEO Leads providing for years. We are the best at what we do. Finding new clients has never been so easier. I hope you know, how much is important the SEO leads to get more customers for SEO and other services.

I am looking forward to hear from you.

Warm Regards,

Mike Ncube
http://www.seoleadsquote.com/

If I’m a SEO expert, why would I need the help from someone who sounds like a failed 90’s rapper? That’s right, I wouldn’t.

Did you notice the URL at the bottom of Mike’s email? That’s right- www.seoleadsquote.com. Does this mean that www.fresherdoing.online is affiliated with www.seoleadsquote.com?

Mike was persistent, as he also sent me a second email, although he didn’t include a URL at the bottom of this one:

Hi,

Hope you are well.

I found your website through Internet and realized that despite having a great design; it was not ranking on any of the search engines (Google, Yahoo and Bing), for most of the keywords relating to your business.

I am affiliated with an SEO company that has helped over 200 businesses rank on the 1st Page of GOOGLE for even the most competitive Industries.

Let me know if you are interested and we will send you a proposal which will not only improve your sales but website visitors too.

We look forward to your mail.

Thanks & Regards,
Mike Ncube
Marketing Head

Is it odd that Mike is affiliated with an SEO company (www.fresherdoingonline or www.seoleadsquote.com) but that his reply-to address is a Gmail account?

Mike’s colleague, Rebecca Anderson, also emailed me (from rebeccaanderson@fresherdoing.online with a reply-to address of rebeccaanderson2525@gmail.com) twice. Her first email to the Web Windows spam forwarder email read:

Hi,

I just take 15 min of your time without any obligation and run through some ideas I have in mind to help your business grow?

Would you like more leads, more customers and more revenue? We are a UK based digital marketing company who specialize in helping local businesses get more enquiries from their website.

We can help your website to get on first page of GOOGLE and increase the number of leads and sales you are getting from your website. Please email us back for full proposal.

Regards,
Rebecca Anderson
Marketing Head

Her second email read:

Dear Business Owner,

Would you like more leads, more customers and more revenue? We are a UK based digital marketing company who specialize in helping local businesses get more enquiries from their website.

Can I call you and take just 15 mins of your time, without any obligation to run through some ideas I have in mind to help your business grow?

> Trust a UK-based SEO firm to deliver real results!
> 1st page ranking results!
> Top In-house SEO team.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards,
Rebecca Anderson
Marketing Head | IT Sales

What kind of business has three Marketing Heads (Kaylee, Mike and Rebecca), thinks that a personal blog is a business, claims to be UK-based when it isn’t and uses a URL which doesn’t even link to an active website? www.fresherdoing.online, that’s who. Or www.seoleadsquote.com. Or both. I’m struggling to keep up with the bullshit.

The website www.fresherdoing.online was registered by Roose Taylor (roosetaylor010@gmail.com) but doesn’t actually exist. As bullshit names go, that one really is ridiculous, but I’ve added Roose’s email address to spammyfucker@ninjahedgehog.co.uk anyway.

The next cock-muncher to darken my mailbox is Caitlin Anderson, emailing me from caitlinadnerson@thunderpro.info but using a reply-to address of caitlinandersonb@gmail.com. She sent me the following nonsense:

Hi,

Hope you are well.

Want more clients and customers. We will analysis your website and send full SEO proposal with plan and activities which will be implemented on your website.

We will help them find you by putting you on the 1st page of Google. We have some special offers this season.

Email us back to get a full proposal.

Thanks
Caitlin Anderson
Marketing Head

The website www.thunderpro.info was registered by an Arlene Cruz (email arlenecruz987@gmail.com) and like www.fresherdoing.online, this website doesn’t exist.

This email was also sent to the spam email forwarder I set up for Web Windows .  I would guess that this email was also from www.seoleadsquote.com and that they actually have four Marketing Heads. I wonder if Kaylee, Mike, Rebecca and Caitlin share the same desk? Grace Wave, Arlene Cruz, Roose Taylor and Suraj Ghosh possibly know each other, are all the same person or all simply don’t exist. Still, it makes for more email addresses to be added to my new spam forwarder.

Next up is a spamming cunt who I believe is unrelated to the the spamming cunts already mentioned but anything is possible.

This email came from Priya Singh (email priya@techsaga.ae) and was sent to Bonham-Shufflebotham_12@ninjahedgehog.co.uk, which is part of a pretend email address I included in an article about online usernames. They couldn’t even capture the whole of the pretend email address, which was actually Herbert.Bonham-Shufflebotham_12@ninjahedgehog.co.uk. Priya’s email read:

We are an INDIA based Bespoke Web Application Development Company and serving clients all across the globe. We mainly focus on Website Design & Development for both Open Source and Microsoft Technologies Platform.

We maintain Web 2.0 standards and W3C validations in all the websites we design and develop. The website we develop includes:

1. Great first impression
2. Good navigation and usability
3. Quick loading
4. Search engines to access your content

We have a dedicated team of 80 experienced designers, developers and SEO experts. In Graphic/Flash/3D designs, we thrive on the idea that design makes a difference. We can provide you with a fresh, professional image and unique LOOK & FEEL via a recognizable trademark or logo design.

We have our competency in developing CMS, Ecommerce, Social Networking, Job portals etc. We strictly work on performance basis and can assure you of getting quality work done beyond your expectation.

Most overseas firms have achieved a significant amount of savings by outsourcing either complete or part of their work to us in India.

I would like to request you for an opportunity to work and AMAZE you with our service.

We look forward to have a long term mutually beneficial alliance with you.

Kind Regards

Priya

As for a great first impression, I’m slagging you off on my personal blog, so it seems like you misjudged that rather spectacularly, doesn’t it?

Incidentally, whilst typing this article I just received another email from Tech Saga, only this time it was sent by Sunita (email address sales@techsaga.es). This one read:

Hi,

Hope you are doing great,

I am Sunita, (iPhone & Android Apps Division). Are you looking for a Mobile App Developer?

We are primarily a Mobile Apps development company based at New York with development center in (India) we work as technology partner for companies like you and also act as a captive development center (dedicated engineering team) which in turn saves a lot of costing and give you the complete control over the engineers working on your projects and top quality product delivery. We have expertise in Native Mobile Apps development across various platforms such as Android and iOS.

Our Mobility Solutions include:-

1. iPhone / iPad / iPod Application Development

2. Mac Application Development

3. Google Android SDK application development/Tablets

4. Mobile / WAP Site / HTML4 / HTML 5

5. Enterprise Mobile Application Development Platform

6. Mobile enabled / Responsive website development

7. Location Based Services application across industries like Retail, Banking, Logistics

We would be happy to discuss and help you understand the way we work and also assess us as potential offshore partners for long term relationship.

Please let us know if you are interested and we can share our rates with you and take this forward to the next level.

You can give me your Skype Id or Phone Number to discuss more.

Thanks,

Sunita

iPhone & Android Apps Division

The domain www.techsaga.ae directs to www.techsaga.co.in, which is registered to Rahul Mishra (email address ceo.cpco@gmail.com). Rahul is also on my new email list but I have a feeling his email address is genuine. Even if it isn’t, Tech Saga appear to have a UK address and a European email address of info@techsaga.es, so I’ll just add that to my list, too. There’s a mobile phone number of 07760 195 738 listed for the UK address, so I may check that out multiple times during the middle of the night, just in case it belongs to someone who thinks it’s alright to send me shit.

Unlike www.seoleadsquote.comwww.techsaga.co.in does have an updated copyright notice and the social media links work. Unfortunately, nothing has been posted on their Twitter account since November 2016 although they still regularly post to their Facebook account .

Finally, I received an email from Julie Morris (email address julie_morris@juliemorris.org) to an email address which I use for website error reporting. It’s not a general email address and isn’t readily available on my website.

Julie’s email read:

Hi,

It’s that time of the year again — If you celebrate Christmas, chances are family members and friends are starting to ask you what’s on your wish list.

Often, we ask for our “wants” – the latest tech gadget or new clothes – when we should be asking for gifts that will improve our lives. Sometimes those end up being material items, but frequently, they’re not.

For example, last year, after my partner and I went to see one of our favorite bands, I told him I’d always wanted to learn how to play the guitar. On Christmas morning, he surprised me with a beginner’s guitar and six months of guitar lessons. It wasn’t something that I’d thought to put on any wish list, but it was one of the best gifts I’d received in years.

Can I write an article for your website? I’d love to make suggestions to your visitors on how they might shape their wish lists based on improvements they’d like to make in their lives.

If you’re interested, please let me know.

Julie Morris

Julie is a life coach so clearly isn’t employable and has no real qualifications. Surprisingly, the registrant details for her website are deliberately hidden so that no can can find out who she is. This is a bit of a shame and I would always question why a genuine business would do this. Still, I have her email address which I can add to my new spam list.

On a personal note, Julie should perhaps update her website to reflect that her copyright runs beyond 2016, but what would I know? I don’t have any qualifications which were printed from the internet. Credit where credit is due, Julie only sent me the one email.

It’s bad enough to receive shit from random online “experts” but for one of those experts to send multiple emails is taking the piss. Do they think I’m just going to give in and hire them to spam other innocent people in an attempt to force my website down their throats? These cretins have impressive websites, albeit being riddled with grammatical mistakes, but ultimately, they just harass people. They are a disease, spreading throughout the world-wide web, infecting website owners with their dogged perseverance. If I wanted you to have my email address, I would have given it to you.

If these emails are sent from genuine businesses with genuine, professional intentions, why do these businesses:

  • send emails from or with a reply-to email address of a Gmail account?
  • send emails from, with a reply-to email address or including the URL of a website which doesn’t exist?
  • rely on software to send out random spam email rather than focus on relevant or similar targets? If these emails were targeted as some of these spammer’s websites state, I wouldn’t be receiving them for my stupid little blog.

If I were interested in improving SEO results or generating more traffic to my website, why would I use a company which:

  • sends random spam email to unrelated targets in an effort to generate leads?
  • can’t even use correct spelling and grammar on their professional-looking websites?
  • can’t even be bothered to update their own professional-looking websites correctly?

If you send an email to me, you accept that I may publish it in it’s entirety and that I may use your email address for my own purposes, including publishing it and sending emails to it. You also accept that I may visit your website and take photos of it on my monitor for the purpose of writing an article about your shitty techniques.

I now have 15 email addresses on my spammyfucker@ninjahedgehog.co.uk email forwarder list and I’m sure the list will continue to grow. Just for fun, I’m going to reply to each of these real/pretend/whatever email addresses from spammyfucker@ninjahedgehog.co.uk and simply sit back, knowing that they’ll all start emailing each other in an endless loop, until the internet explodes.

If you ran a reputable business, would you bombard strangers with spam from pretend people?

2 Replies to “I Hate Spam”

  1. hi,

    We are not spammer, we just offering our service.
    if you feel that you are not interested in similar service you can reply as you are not interested.
    i believe you have listed your email somewhere over google for these services

    i do apologies for inconvenience caused

    Best Regards

    1. If you search for a definition of spam email, you will find that the sending of emails to email addresses which have been harvested online or which have been purchased as a list, meets those definitions perfectly. The only place I used the email address which you contacted me via is on this website.
      If I haven’t requested information and if I haven’t used your services historically, any communication you send me is spam.
      Therefore, you use spam as a marketing method which makes you a spammer.

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