Bitten by a Monster

Just thought I’d quickly share this with you in the hope that I’ll get some sympathy.

Yesterday, whilst walking the dogs across a field, I heard what initially sounded like an aeroplane. I looked up and as I did so, I had to shield my eyes from the down draught being created by something with the wingspan of a pterodactyl.

Monster biteThis beast was enormous, with massive goggly eyes and a giant needle protruding from it’s face. This sharp point must have been about 2 foot long.

Before I could curl up into a ball and cry for my mum, this winged beast homed in on my arm, stuck it’s needle-sharp snout into it and started to drink my blood.

Fortunately, I was able to overcome it and managed to extract it’s beak from the tear in my skin before this winged beast could drain me completely of blood. I then squashed it.

Ok, all of that is a slight exaggeration but I was definitely bitten by the mosquito from hell. Look what the little fucker did to my arm- what if I have malaria?? The last time I had a lump like that on my arm was when a mongrel nurse put an intravenous drip into the tissue instead of a vein.

I’m definitely not impressed by this (now squished) mosquito. Hope my blood was worth it.

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