Take-Away Health Warning

Scientists have apparently discovered a link between take-away food and an increased risk of a heart attack. Seems obvious, but it’s not what you may think.

High levels of a chemical, known as bisphenol-A, have been discovered in urine samples of cardiac patients. Apparently, this chemical can be associated with the narrowing of arteries to the heart.

Pretty scary sounding, huh? I bet it’s enough to make fat people across the UK shake in their bariatric chairs (although I doubt it’s enough to make them stop eating the shit that makes them fat).

Fear not, for bisphenol-A isn’t found in the colouring, salt or sugar used for making our favourite take-away dishes. Oh, no. Bisphenol-A is found in plastic utensils and food containers, typically used with fast food.

It’s great that scientists have made this discovery- I suspect that vast amounts of time and money have been invested into this research.

Now all we have to do is work out why the fuck people are eating plastic utensils and food containers. If you’re doing that, it’s a pretty safe bet that you’ll have weird stuff in your wee.

On a serious note, bisphenol-A has already been banned from use in the production of baby bottles/cups because of the suspected health risks. But, if the links to health problems were really that strong, surely bisphenol-A would be banned from use in the production of plastic all together?

I think we live in a world where every health problem has to be linked to a cause- if you look hard enough for something, you’ll always find it.

If you’re going to get ill, you’re going to get ill. Let’s all chill out and stop wasting money on searching for a cause all the time. If you experience cardiac problems from narrowed arteries, it’s simply because you eat too much fat or your body has decided to fuck you over.

One Reply to “Take-Away Health Warning”

  1. Fat people experience heart problems because they eat too much, not because of what their food containers are made from!

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