Great News- Mobile Phones DON’T Give You Head Cancer

I’ve suspected this for several years, in much the same way that I’ve suspected a mobile phone won’t turn a petrol station into a flaming fireball. Now we have proof, I’m as happy as Larry that I was right all along.

Actually, the title here is a little misleading- it’s been decided that mobile phones are unlikely to give you head cancer. That’s good enough for me as its one less thing for the vegan, recycling, keep-fit, sober people of the world to not lose sleep over.

The Health Protection Agency has analysed hundreds of investigations from the last 15 years and although they admit that some types of tumour can take more than 15 years to develop, they found no convincing links. Brain tumour rates have not risen.

The HPA have offered some guidance on use of mobile phones. They suggest that we all upgrade from 2G to 3G mobile phones (my poor old Nokia 9500!), keep calls short and move phones away from our heads to keep safe.

Hang on a second: “Move phones away from our heads”? The electrical items that we use to converse with each other by speaking into and listening to? We should keep these away from our heads?

Great. Now my faith in the HPA has been wiped out on the grounds of stupidity. If an agency are advising us to keep mobile phones away from our heads, how can I take their claims that mobile phones don’t cause head cancer seriously? Panic will be rife again- use a mobile phone and your head WILL explode.

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