Please May I Have My Ball Back?

The other day, I became over-zealous with Eddie’s ball whilst throwing it around at the park and it flew over a fence, into someone’s back garden. If I’m honest, I threw it like a bit of a mong and it slipped from my fingers.

Eddie loves this ball. He’s had it since he was a puppy and it’s the only toy he hasn’t been able to destroy over the years. I was going to have to get it back.

I worked out which house it was out on the road and knocked on the door. A woman answered and I politely made my enquiry.

“Please may I have my ball back?”

She allowed me through the very dark, slightly stale-smelling house to have a look through her garden, which was like some sort of ball emporium. Footballs, tennis balls, rubber balls- there was every type of ball you could imagine.

Fortunately, I found Eddie’s ball next to the green house, whcih was dotted in cracks and holes. I hadn’t heard the tell-tale crack sound when the ball went over the fence and the woman didn’t mention any new damage, so I assume Eddie’s ball didn’t cause any.

I thanked the woman and left- Eddie fell asleep. I don’t think that ball will ever be the same for him.

Sticky Floors and Rohypnol

On Friday night, I ended up at The Casino Rooms, which is a nightclub in Rochester. I’d been only twice before; once, when I was pretty pissed and nowhere else was open and on a second occasion when I was still pretty sober yet was turned away on the door for being “bladdered”. Technically, that doesn’t count as a second occasion, but I’m building up a picture for you.

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Wrng Mirrors

I bought some wing-mirror extensions for legal towing of my caravan- these are required if the caravan is wider than the rear of the vehicle towing it. which is the case with mine.

The set I bought are supposed to fit all car wing-mirrors, but they don’t fit mine- mine are fucking huge.

Duct tape and cable ties isn’t really an elegant solution, so I need to come up with something else. I’ll keep you posted.

JL Who?

Apparently, JLS have announced that they’re splitting after 5 years together.

I can’t say I’ve paid an awful lot of attention to them, but I believe that they were pretty popular- you can’t argue with 10 million records sold and five no. 1 hits, can you.

They’ll be back.


Some days (most days), I have me a coffee and an energy drink in the morning. This makes me alert and ready to take the day on… for an hour or so.

Once the caffeine has worn off, I crash pretty badly, which is apparent from my tiredness and grumpiness at around 11am. You’d have thought that by now, I’d have learnt to pace myself and consume my caffeine slowly, as opposed to guzzling it all before 9.30.

I may give this a go from tomorrow, if only to delay the massive caffeine crash.



It’s a beautiful day today. The sun is shining and the breeze is just right.

Considering how crap the weather was yesterday, it’s pleasantly surprising.

It’s topped off by the fact that there’s no loud music blaring from one of the windows belonging to a scumbag family down the street- maybe they’ve been evicted?

Let’s hope so.